we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
