I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
