we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
