SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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