i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
