Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
