Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
