whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
