hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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