So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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