Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
