i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
