Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
