do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
