carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
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Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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