That's intense
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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