My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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