in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
