The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I smell like Dick and happiness
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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