I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
