are you so shy because you have an std?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
