come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
