That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
