I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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