i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This house was built for laser tag.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
