If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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