i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So vagazzling was a success
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