This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I believe in your delicious
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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