Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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