After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
