Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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