You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
