I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
