i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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