She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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