Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
