he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
