I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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