lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
and you fell through a lawn chair
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
