How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
tell me about the fingering
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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