Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
