if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
