I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
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could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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