i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
