What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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