We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize