pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
