Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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