my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Randomize
