I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
