What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize