Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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