in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.