new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.