In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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