He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
