He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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