Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
