standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
