Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His nipple licking is glorious
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